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The Wife
General View In the Ferreligion's beliefs, The Wife is a figure that could be interpreted in five different ways, since there are five diverging theories and interpretations about a possible companion of his and how she/he would be like as a person or creature, but even though there are so many differences, all theories have a detail in common: they all agree that The Wife had a hard time with the god. Theory One: Reca Some variants of Ferreligious beliefs state that instead of the Universe being created just by one creature, Ferrer, it was actually a work of two: the umbrella deity and Reca, the Omnipresent stick-like figure. According to the theory, Reca and Ferrer were really united at the dawn of the Ôniverse, but as everything was beginning to take form with the millions and millions of years that passed since the primordial explosion, discordances between Feca and Reca began to appear, causing Fehér to rebel against the other God/goddess through the creation of a mass destruction vehicle: the Motorcycle, which was a too powerful magical object for Reca to fight against, since he/she had little energy left in his/her body after using almost all of it to create the stars and give power to nuclear fusion that would take place inside them. Since the Universal Breakup Ferrer and Reca never talked to each other again, they are archenemies until nowadays. Theory Two: Ancient Rome All Ferreligious belief variants agree that even though a wicked god, Ferrer had a great love for Earth, which made him decide to live in the planet using various human forms, being one of them the infamous Emperor Nero, the one who couldn't set Babylon on Fire so he fiddled as Rome burned down during The Great Fire. According to historians from the Ancient Roman period, Nero was married four times ''and all of them died in rather cruel or unclear circumstances, very Nero-like. His first wife was Claudia Octavia, daughter of Claudius and half-sister of the Emperor. She was banished to the Campania region by Nero and Poppaea Sabina (who would be his second wife), but after the Romans protested for her return, she was sentenced to death and died painfully. His second wife, as mentioned before, was Poppaea Sabina. She didn't have a happy end either, because according to Suetonius she died pregnant of her second child after Nero, in a fit of rage, kicked her violently in the stomach, but not all historians of the time agree on that: Tacitus states that it was "exaggerated" and so on, so her cause of death remains kinda nebulous until nowadays. His third wife was Statilia Messalina, the only one of them that there aren't pieces of information enough to know how was her death or either to satisfactorily know about her family background. It is said that she was part of the Julio-Claudian Dynasty and that she survived enough to see the fall of Nero, where he committed suicide. Nero's fourth wife (actually who is writing this is not really sure about the dates, so this one is much probably at the same time as Statilia Messalina) was Sporus, who was a slave freed by him because the young boy was of his liking. Nero castrated him (as it was a common thing to be done to certain boys to keep their juvenile traits) and made him his wife. After Nero's suicide, Sporus was taken to the care of Nymphidius Sabinus, a praetorian prefect who treated him as a wife and at some point he was killed (it seems) by his own guardsmen. Sporus got involved wit Ottho, one of the four Emperors after the chaotic period that followed after Nero's death, but after losing a battle he committed suicide. The young man was then taken by Vitelius, the victorious adversary, who wanted to use him for a re-enactment of the ''Rape of Proserpina ''at a gladiator show. To avoid such humiliation, Sporus committed suicide. Theory three: Cuck The third theory about who could be Ferrer's wife takes place nowadays, at the present incarnation of the god: João Peido. According to this theory, The Wife is a guy named Vinícius (a.k.a ''Cuck) who lives in a somewhat turbulent relationship with the Father of All Umbrellas, but he doesn't seem to be bothered about it: instead, certain hypothesis say that he is pretty okay with it, since he is well-known for being infinitely cucked by his girlfriend who didn't even have a car to give him lifts, which Fehér does. It is from the Cuck Hypothesis that the Sacred Word "NHEC" comes from. If you want to have more information about it, see the main article NHEC. Theory Four: Timeline Hypothesis The Timeline Hypothesis states that all the other three theories presented before are correct and this argument is based on the idea that The Wife could be various figures, and not just one. Through the centuries and millennia, Ferrer could have had multiple wives like an ''Arab ''(or maybe he could even have been an Arab himself!), marrying again for each time one of them died. Theory Five: The Schrödinger's Wife According to this last theory, the concept of The Wife in Ferreligion would be more or less like the Schrödinger's cat: she could have existed, at the same time she was never a person, but an idea. Actually, the fifth theory is more universal than all the other four, accepting two separate ideas at the same time and also agreeing on the aggressiveness element: if The Wife (or wives) existed, she had a difficult and turbulent relationship with the god and, if she never was more than a concept, she would suffer if she was a real being, because the present incarnation of Ferrer has all the physic characteristics of a man who would beat his wife.